Innocence Lost
by Senor Chiko Man
Summary: AU: Takes place after the end of "Pretty Much Dead Already." Carl makes his first kill.


I sat there in shock in my mom's embrace. Everything had been going fine, until Shane went on his little crusade to rid the barn of walkers. I know I shouldn't have looked, I know I should have averted my eyes, but I couldn't help it. I've changed. A few weeks ago, I found girls unimportant, I would have ran screaming at the sight of a walker and I was deathly scared of guns because I was a lousy shot and was afraid I would shoot myself by accident. Now however, I have been shot, I find guns extremely fascinating, I can't wait to kill my first walker, I had a crush on Sophia, and my dad told me I was a better shot than he was.

Now this crap happened.

Now we knew, Sophia was dead, and she was not coming back. I sat there and watched as she stumbled from the barn, her dead eyes wide and blank, and a hungry growl emanating from her dead throat. It was too much, I couldn't handle it.

I started to cry. I was in pain. I was in anguish, but the sadness didn't last long. It quickly turned into something completely different. It turned into a feeling that I had only felt once before, a long time ago, before the world ended and I still went to school, when a new kid decided that he would announce to the whole school the lie that I was gay. I felt anger. I felt rage. I felt an almost inhuman fury well up inside my twelve year old body. I could feel myself begin to shake. I could feel myself losing control of my temper.

I was struggling to maintain control; I could feel it slipping away completely as I saw my dad step forward and raise his gun. I closed my eyes. I heard the gunshot, a splatter, and a dull thump. I opened my eyes. She was gone, and it hit me like a freight train. I broke free of my mother's hold and ran for it as fast as I can. I didn't stop running until I had reached the R.V. I was going to do what I always did when I felt angry, sad, or scared.

I was gonna do some shooting practice.

I ran inside, and rummaged around for the gun bag, and found it stuffed under the bed in the back of the R.V. I knelt and pulled out the biggest gun in it. It was a Remington Bolt Action Rifle with a sniper scope attached. I swung it over my shoulder and grabbed a few magazines of ammunition. I grabbed a hunting knife, and I flung the door of the R.V. and walked out towards the practice area

Then I heard a scream.

I whipped around towards the barn, and my heart dropped.

One of the walkers wasn't dead. It was going after Carol.

Without even thinking I take aim. I line up the head of the walker in my sites, and I squeeze the trigger. I put every ounce of pain, anger and sadness into that shot.

The walker never knew what hit it. It crumpled to the ground like a marionette with its strings cut.

There wasn't a sound to be heard. I slowly began to make my way towards the shocked adults.

They all had a few different looks on their faces when they saw me walking towards them, the gun still aimed at the walker (I had to be prepared, in case it still wasn't dead). Mom had a look of surprise on her face. Dad and Shane had proud looks on their face. Dale wore a shocked look. Daryl had an impressed look on his face. Herschel was in shock, and Maggie wasn't paying much attention. Carol was looking at me with a sad and thankful look. I stepped past her and knelt beside the walker. I took the knife out of its case, and plunged it into the head of the undead menace. I stood up, and kicked the damned thing. I walked toward Sophia, or what had been Sophia. I dropped to my knees and rolled her small body over onto her back. For the second time that day, I felt enraged.

How dare those freaks do this to her?

I stood up and ran towards the house. I was on the porch before I realized that my dad and Shane had followed me.

"You okay, buddy?" Shane asked.

I lost control again. I broke down into tears. I sunk to my knees. I cried for the death of my friend, for the death of my crush, and for the pain that it had caused Carol. I cried because I realized that I would never see her alive again.

"Life isn't fricken fair."


End file.
